Of what you don't know
True to your heart
You must be true to your heart
That's when the heavens will part
And baby shower you with my love
Open your eyes
Your heart can tell you no lies
And when you're true to your heart
I know it's gonna lead you straight to
me
(Got to be true to your heart)
- True To Your Heart, 98 Degrees
Four years ago, when I was 13 years old, I wanted to live in New York.
Breathe the supposedly dirty air, walk with the busy people and soak in everyone's hectic vibe.
Grab myself a hot dog and a pretzel. Eat an authentic New York pizza. Look at all the shiny, dusty old/new buildings. Listening to the extreme traffic. Looking around Central Park. Sounds good, doesn't it?
New Yorkers are said to be rude and mind-your-own-business type of people. They hate tourists. It's a tough thing to do, trying to make it in NY. I don't care. Okay, maybe I do because I don't want people to be rude to me as I'm not to people! But, I love the place itself. I like the idea of it.
Breathe the supposedly dirty air, walk with the busy people and soak in everyone's hectic vibe.
Grab myself a hot dog and a pretzel. Eat an authentic New York pizza. Look at all the shiny, dusty old/new buildings. Listening to the extreme traffic. Looking around Central Park. Sounds good, doesn't it?
New Yorkers are said to be rude and mind-your-own-business type of people. They hate tourists. It's a tough thing to do, trying to make it in NY. I don't care. Okay, maybe I do because I don't want people to be rude to me as I'm not to people! But, I love the place itself. I like the idea of it.
I don't want the carefree-ness of the city. I don't wanna spend my time bumming around the streets. Shanan wants to live in a dingy apartment and listen to indie music there. I don't want that. I want the concrete, the fashion, the food, the people, the lifestyle. I like the idea of busy and fast and where else can I get it?
I'm aware that NY is not all glitz and glamor because it has its dark alleys and dangerous people. I don't desire to be "glitzy" or "glamorous" at all. The spotlight is not something I want. That's not me. All I want is to work and be in someplace that suits me and I feel like NYC is my place.
I'm aware that NY is not all glitz and glamor because it has its dark alleys and dangerous people. I don't desire to be "glitzy" or "glamorous" at all. The spotlight is not something I want. That's not me. All I want is to work and be in someplace that suits me and I feel like NYC is my place.
It's weird, but that's what I apparently wanted. I still want it, but I'm more realistic now. I can't help it, I'm letting my dream go.
My friends would know what I'm talking about. I used to rave about wanting to be a fashion magazine editor-in-chief and making it in NYC.
My friends would say, "Wow, that suits you!" or "Oh, that's nice!" when I tell them that ambition.
When I say now, "Oh, I'm going for law." I get a couple of pauses and a few shocking gasps. It's probably a surprise because I've been talking about that dream in writing and publication for years.
The thing is, law does not confine me inside a courtroom or court shoes. I can still go into journalism because law covers a wide range of "prospects".
My friends would know what I'm talking about. I used to rave about wanting to be a fashion magazine editor-in-chief and making it in NYC.
My friends would say, "Wow, that suits you!" or "Oh, that's nice!" when I tell them that ambition.
When I say now, "Oh, I'm going for law." I get a couple of pauses and a few shocking gasps. It's probably a surprise because I've been talking about that dream in writing and publication for years.
The thing is, law does not confine me inside a courtroom or court shoes. I can still go into journalism because law covers a wide range of "prospects".
I wanted to work in the prestigious New York Times as well :)
I can't help it. I'm careful. I want to be practical. I'm afraid I won't make it. I don't want to starve and be jobless. Because, ultimately - my "fashion magazine editor-in-chief" dream is what it is. Just a dream. I know what the sayings are, "you can make your dreams happen" and all that shit, but I'm being honest here. Seeing both sides and that other side ain't pretty.
Mass communications is a "black" course with the top universities. I've done my research although I could be wrong but I know what I'm talking about. It's good if you're interested in it but I'm afraid it won't take me anywhere. Journalism won't get me anywhere around here.
I want to be in that city that I once dreamed of living in when I was 13. I want to be inspired and successful. I want to walk around in my heels and trench coat with a cup of Starbucks. With my sunglasses. I feel like I am that girl.
But, where did that girl go?
Mass communications is a "black" course with the top universities. I've done my research although I could be wrong but I know what I'm talking about. It's good if you're interested in it but I'm afraid it won't take me anywhere. Journalism won't get me anywhere around here.
I want to be in that city that I once dreamed of living in when I was 13. I want to be inspired and successful. I want to walk around in my heels and trench coat with a cup of Starbucks. With my sunglasses. I feel like I am that girl.
But, where did that girl go?
6 comments:
愛情是一位偉大的導師，教我們重新作人.................................................................
Ah, law is alright. Just think of it this way. It's like a back up practical plan to your own dreams. As you can say, you can make it go somewhere with law. Somewhere is a broad. :)
Society killed the girl. =(
I like the idea of you walking down the streets of NYC in a trench coat and heels with a cup of Starbucks too. Not forgetting a posh bag and shades. :D
這麼好的blog不回應怎麼行咧！..................................................................
Mich: Thanks for the insight :)
Liza: *smile knowingly at that sentence* I like that idea too!
no, seriously i wont go *gasps* if you were to tell me.
Law is fine, :)
trench coat! beige colour is a must :DD
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