The One I Call My Brother

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want you leather studded kiss in the scene
And I want your love
Love-love-love, I want your love
Love-love-love, I want your love
You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a bad,your bad romance

- Bad Romance, Lady Gaga

My brother is a defeatist. He might not agree with me, but he is. Yesterday, all night long - while I was trying to get some decent sleep in my room, I can overhear him talking about how he must cancel his Sunway Lagoon outing with his college friends because he didn't have transport. He couldn't use my Dad's car because Dad's going to Kuantan today. Dad gave him numerous suggestions and ways which he wouldn't agree to. He came into my room and told me about it, and I tried giving him an ingenious solution, which is rather simple - change the fucking date. It's an outing, for crying out loud, not someone's birthday. Why can't they reschedule? He is a serial complainer. He doesn't complain about practical things, but instead - about the most inane things. He leaves me speechless, sometimes.


Despite all these shortcomings, he is undoubtedly a good brother. I've said this a few times, and it's remains the truth. Before applying to college, he had a few months unoccupied. Spending your vacant hours in the house spells disaster, because you'll slowly rot into oblivion. He took a job, as a mobile phone dealer (I'm trying to make the job sound better) and I'm not saying that becoming one is bad. It is extremely bad for a person. I'd call my brother a good guy, because he is everything nice, except for the occasional bothersome habits teenage guys have. Theoretically, my brother can handle the darker side of the society because his high school friends were practically the embodiment of the dark side.


But, when you overexpose a guy who's been rather good all his life, it's very easy for him to succumb to it. His vocabulary in Cantonese got a lot better, even better than mine! He started cussing frequently, though not in front of us. It's true that the people involved in selling the hand phones are bad people. They're not exactly the best of influences. My brother got a new "lala" girlfriend, who broke his heart later. He got another (rebound) girlfriend, this one obsessed with him. All of his new friends are gangster-like. Amidst everything, he never smoked, never drank, never went to clubs, never did drugs. I wouldn't know, but we'll just have to take his word for it. A word of advise to guys.. or girls.. who wants to work in a mobile phone store : Don't go there. That's not your future.


He ran away from the house, when my Dad disapproved of his job and asked him to quit it. My Dad said temperamentally, "If you don't wanna quit the job, then don't come back!" My brother got really angry because he was stubborn like that, and called me on the phone, to pack his things for him, saying that he's going to stay in my older cousin's house. My Mum was paranoid, and my Dad was even more angry and they constantly fought... and it was similar to a Hokkien drama series (never watch Hokkien shows before, but I heard they're tres scandalous). Everything worked out, after enough bawling. I think I was the center of it all, the pH7 in the midst of the acidity and neutrality.


He's taking his A Levels now, in Law (and some other subjects). Sometimes I wonder why he wants to study Law, in the first place. He doesn't read, the only book I've seen him read is Enid Blyton. And, that was when he was really young, and only got to a quarter of the book. His command of English is just on par. But, he's really passionate about it. He still is, but what worries me and my Mum is that, he seemed so cool and laid-back, and his exams are now. He's everything we call kiasu, he doesn't like losing. He's a bit like me in that department. Except, when I lose, I cry. He just sulks around, sighing, and letting you know that he's not happy. What the fuck.


My brother loves my Mum, I can tell. Even Kristal can tell, after meeting him once. That's because, he's always talking with Mum when I don't feel like talking, especially in the car. He has countless of grandfather tales he can hammer out. They're very alike, smiley.. happy.. talkative.. and that's why they get along so well together. It's a warming sight to see. Speaking of him being talkative, I remember the first day of school. I was 7 and he was 9, and we sat in the bus together. He was very excited. I was very sleepy. He kept chattering away like there's no end to it, and finally - when I thought I couldn't take no more, I said, "Let's go sleep....." and we went to sleep together.


I remember this guy, Taufiq (if I remember correctly) he threw brother's bag down the bus because apparently, he sat on his seat. He said that he had a "bad day" and doesn't want any other disturbances. The indignant in me, felt like slapping him hard and telling him that his name is not on the seat. Even if I did, I would be reduced to a meek, demented Junior. But, brother just walked away to another seat. Everybody glared at the miserable fuck. What a douche. His sister, Shaheila forced him to apologize to my brother later. That is a fraction of our bus chronicles.


We played Gameboy together, I would often ask him for help when I couldn't get to the next level in Super Mario or if I couldn't find my way in Pokemon. He had a cheat/guide book for the Pokemon adventure game. Yes, there is such a thing. We played water guns together and when he wins, I cry. He taught me how to ride a bike for the first time. I kept falling and bruising myself but now I'm an ultimate professional in bike riding, okay! He chided me (teasingly) when I wouldn't go swim in the deeper pool although the depth is as frightening as a harmless kitten. It barely reached my mid-torso. Instead, I chose to swim in the kiddy pool instead -__-


He knew I wasn't afraid of the depth, but because there's a friggin' WHALE on the bottom of the pool. And the tiles which make up the whale is in a DARK BLUE color. I thought it was disgusting and dirty and maybe, rusty. Eventually, I went in and he told me I can just not step on the whale. Oh, he's horrible in badminton, because he's terribly uncoordinated when it comes to rackets. Doesn't help if you're left handed too. He's good in football, though. He occasionally barges in my room to tell me about his dilemmas and more grandfather tales.


We used to watch Playhouse Disney together, although he favors Cartoon Network. He doesn't watch the telly much anymore, like me. When we were young, we made a tent after watching PB & J with his blanket and some kitchen chairs and we ate lunch under it. Our favorite Playhouse Disney cartoon was Rollie Pollie Ollie. He knows exactly how I like my chicken rice to be too! Yesterday he bought it, with a combination of "siew yuk" and "char siew". He scoops cauliflower and baby corns for me when Dad orders the Claypot Tofu.


His greatest pet peeve is he cuts his nails in the living room and in front of the computer!! Cue in the disgusted noises He is also, very bad in the dancing mat. How can a person be bad in a dancing mat? He can. Kids instinctively flock to him, even if he's a stranger to them. He's good with children, something which I have yet to understand. Maybe because he doesn't have the urge to squash them, like I do.


In the middle of the year, I had a crush on Staircase, and he knew about it. Of course, I was very infatuated for no reason at all. He didn't agree to it. He said what I should've realized at first, which is, he is a dick and he's a lonely, desperate loser who doesn't have guts at all. He said, "If he wants to come near to you, ask him to come see me first!" and he stalks off in a huff. I am speechless, once again.

My Mum once told us this, "If both your Mum and Dad are gone, you have no one to rely on except for your brother. Because you're family."

Say I'm cuter! :)